GROWING ON UP

So I went out with Mr. Baseball again. And I was definitely still excited to see him, even after my good first date with the ”Other Guy”. We had dinner at a beautiful restaurant down by the marina, great food, decent wine, and it was a total bore! Boo. I found myself struggling to find questions to ask, completely bored by his responses, and somewhat annoyed that nothing was ever reciprocated. There were more than a few silences, which to me felt awkward- but he seemed to not even notice. I basically cut the date short, and went home feeling kinda bummed… and confused, and reminded; the 3rd date can say so much!

Then I went out with the ‘Other Guy’ for date #2, and once again the conversation was awesome! Multi dimensional, passionate, deep and meaningful. So refreshing compared to Mr. Baseball. But of course the attraction is slightly lower. But to be honest, I’m okay with that, because I still seem to enjoy his company, and I am trying to grow in this department, and I am feeling really good about it. I am truly excited to get to know him further, and looking forward to spending more time with him. Our date #3 is scheduled for tomorrow. A daytime date, with no drinking involved. I am excited, and curious to see just how adventurous this guy really is. And to see if date #3 is the tell tale sign.

But… I had date #4 with Mr. Baseball last night, and it was fun, but I still just don’t think I am ‘feeling IT”. The problem is, I am definitely feeling the kisses. Every time he kisses me I get dizzy and forget that I still haven’t told him that I am seeing other people and I’d like to take things slow. I tried liquid courage, but that didn’t work! I suck. And now I am all nervous for our date on Sunday. I have no idea on how to broach the subject. I hate uncomfortable situations. I guess that is why we date though- to grow, right? Or as my friend said, "to learn compassion from being on both sides of the table".

Damn you compassion. Damn you self growth!