Case in point. Mr. Baseball. I STILL have not ended it with him. I can’t seem to cut the ties. I keep convincing myself that it MUST be me. Even though I am pretty sure it is him. But while true that he is a poor communicator, a bit doofus-sy, and slightly boring, he is super sweet, and cute, and seems trustworthy and sincere. These are great qualities, important qualities in a mate. But also more than likely common qualities, that I could probably find in someone more exciting (!) Why do I do this to myself, and most of all why do I keep making excuses for HIM. I am hell bent on believing that I am the issue. But maybe I truly am. I feel like I should at least see him in a more social situation, among other people before I judge what type of person he is. I also feel like I should see him in a more private setting, more conducive to heart to heart conversations. I still can’t believe he is taking this sh*t from me though. I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks, and pushed him off till next week while I focus on the apartment… yet he still “can’t wait to see {me}”. (Note the ping pong thinking (!))
Meanwhile, I realized this weekend, I have a crush… as evidenced by the outrageous jealousy I had when after spending the first half of the night flirting with me at the local watering hole, my softball teammate proceeded to make out with some 40yr OLD blonde, (note the cattiness). I am not normally a mean or jealous person, but after a few drinks, I tell ya, that ol' green monster reared its ugly head. And it was not pretty. Kind of shocked me too, and now I am not really sure what to do about it. Do I confess, or just let it play out? Tempted to do the opposite of what I think I should do, because clearly nothing I’ve done in the past is working for me. So. Sick. Of. Being. Single.
On a happier note… two of my besties came by this weekend and helped me paint my apartment… here is a sneak peak of the feature wall. Oh don’t act surprised, you knew I’d do something dramatic.
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