I have no idea when it happened… or how long I’ve been affected. But its time I face the truth- I am a DRAMA QUEEN. Not drama drah-muh: defined as: childish self esteem games often caused by a cluster of women, I avoid that drama at all costs. I am talking good ol’ fashioned THEATRICAL DRAMA that happens when you’ve become perhaps slightly a bit self centered, and float just a little above reality.
I mean I have always slightly known.. I secretly cause and relish in drama,( I wouldn’t be writing a blog if I didn’t). It’s fun, its chaotic, it breaks up the mundane of daily drudgery… what’s not to like?? But then last week happened, and I was so caught up in my drama I may have gone a little overboard in my production of The One Man Show that is my Red Letter Life.
The Big Guy called to tell me he’d run into an old friend of mine, which was nice, and funny, and reminded me of how much I miss his voice. Since I am still currently living in Lonely Town though it affected me more than I would have liked. When he mentioned he may be thinking about a move to the other Coast, I actually got emotional . When I found out a few days later that his move was happening in 2 days(!)- I about lost it. I don’t know what came over me, but all of a sudden him moving across the country became all consuming and devastating. It was like the break up had happened all over again. I spun into a panic, HAD to see him before he left, and then sent him on his way with a book and love letter that made it sound like he was marching off to WAR! It was insanity. I bawled myself to sleep. Not wept, bawled. I was wiping tears away in meetings, on the bus, all day for two days.
Then 2 days later, as quickly as it had enveloped me, my little drama cloud disappeared. What was I thinking! Poor guy, had to deal with my drama whirlwind, when he was the one going through the big transition. He was the one moving to a whole new city, to live with his crazy sister and help out with his nephew. And what is really pathetic is: He’s only planning on being gone for 6 month! It’s really just a long vacation.
So now that the embarrassment of my production has dissipated, and I’ve sat with this news, I think I am thrilled. I kind of feel free. I can go out with our friends and not run the risk of running into him. I can date (!) and not worry that word will get back to him. I can go to our favorite neighborhood and not spend the entire time looking over my shoulder! And did I mention I can date??
Now I just have to sit with my new Drama Queen moniker, and learn to accept it, wrangle it, and perhaps only display it when the situation truly warrants it. In the meantime I am sure I can find some other exciting ways to make my life a little less dull. Stay tuned.
Drama is like life with the dull bits cut out. ~ Alfred Hitchcock
I mean I have always slightly known.. I secretly cause and relish in drama,( I wouldn’t be writing a blog if I didn’t). It’s fun, its chaotic, it breaks up the mundane of daily drudgery… what’s not to like?? But then last week happened, and I was so caught up in my drama I may have gone a little overboard in my production of The One Man Show that is my Red Letter Life.
The Big Guy called to tell me he’d run into an old friend of mine, which was nice, and funny, and reminded me of how much I miss his voice. Since I am still currently living in Lonely Town though it affected me more than I would have liked. When he mentioned he may be thinking about a move to the other Coast, I actually got emotional . When I found out a few days later that his move was happening in 2 days(!)- I about lost it. I don’t know what came over me, but all of a sudden him moving across the country became all consuming and devastating. It was like the break up had happened all over again. I spun into a panic, HAD to see him before he left, and then sent him on his way with a book and love letter that made it sound like he was marching off to WAR! It was insanity. I bawled myself to sleep. Not wept, bawled. I was wiping tears away in meetings, on the bus, all day for two days.
Then 2 days later, as quickly as it had enveloped me, my little drama cloud disappeared. What was I thinking! Poor guy, had to deal with my drama whirlwind, when he was the one going through the big transition. He was the one moving to a whole new city, to live with his crazy sister and help out with his nephew. And what is really pathetic is: He’s only planning on being gone for 6 month! It’s really just a long vacation.
So now that the embarrassment of my production has dissipated, and I’ve sat with this news, I think I am thrilled. I kind of feel free. I can go out with our friends and not run the risk of running into him. I can date (!) and not worry that word will get back to him. I can go to our favorite neighborhood and not spend the entire time looking over my shoulder! And did I mention I can date??
Now I just have to sit with my new Drama Queen moniker, and learn to accept it, wrangle it, and perhaps only display it when the situation truly warrants it. In the meantime I am sure I can find some other exciting ways to make my life a little less dull. Stay tuned.
Drama is like life with the dull bits cut out. ~ Alfred Hitchcock
No comments:
Post a Comment