A GOOD BARTENDER IS HARD TO FIND

The evening of the broken pinky incident I decided to stop into my local watering hole to drink away my pain, garner a little sympathy for my swollen digit (hello, it’s ME- don’t act surprised!), and to see My-Pal-The-Bartender who I hadn’t seen in months as I was somewhat avoiding the place . Not really sure why exactly I was steering clear, I just got sick of being “that girl”. It isn’t that I didn’t talk to people, I did, I was pretty sure they all liked me, but it got boring after a while walking in there alone time after time, so I took a little break from the neighborhood pub. But then He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named mentioned to me, in text of course, that he had seen My-Pal-The-Bartender and we both have him in common. That got me thinking of My-Pal-The-Bartender, so I walked into the bar that Sunday evening and things have taken an interesting course since...

I always knew My-Pal liked me, we just clicked immediately. But I never got an overpowering romantic feeling from him, just the ‘You-are-a-cool-girl’ vibe. So when he kissed my finger to make the pain go away, I was a bit surprised. When he suggested I come down to the other bar where he worked so he could introduce me to eligible bachelors, I was confused, and when he suggested we go out for drinks I was even more perplexed. But, I’ve always liked him, so why not enjoy his company for a happy hour drink or two? Well happy hour turned into a full fledged date- romantic dinner, awesome conversation, a meet up with his buddy, after dinner drinks, live music and dancing, and ended with a passionate kiss on the sidewalk! Talk about coming from left field… I did not see this one at all! BLIND-SIDED. And now I’ve seen him numerous times, and can’t get enough. He is the complete opposite of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, in more good ways than bad. And while I don’t really know what I am doing, it feels like exactly what I need right now. FUN.

I’m starting to see life in a different light as I age. Ready to slow down and learn my lessons before jumping into something that ultimately is not what I want. I can admit it- I am 30, and still have NO CLUE what I want, but I’m okay with that.

Sometimes you have to just go with things and enjoy the surprises. Unexpected things are around every corner…or in this case, the corner bar.

KARMA- SHES A BITCH-BUT THAT’S WHY I LIKE HER.

Since I know that nobody other than a few of my closest friends read this- You wont be surprised to hear that Karma has served me up another slap in the face.

So, my MATCH date, the one that was a total FLOP. Well one of the things that turned me off about the guy was that as it turns out he use to play on the same flag football team that I now play for. I know what you’re thinking…”flag football, that’s perfect for you.” Except that he gave up playing because he got hurt too many times. Broke a few fingers, his elbow and a couple other injuries. Of course, being the bitch that I am, I made fun of him for these injuries when I rehashed the date with my coworkers. I mean really, who gets THAT hurt in flag football??

So Sunday I played flag football. I subbed for a team (the one he used to play on) and we had a great game, beating a team with a stellar record. Then I had a game for my regular team. As were warming up, I went for a low thrown ball … and possibly broke my finger. Yup, I am now wearing a very sexy robo-cop style splint on my very fat, very purple, and very ugly pinky finger. Damn that Karma!

FLOPPY

Flippity floppity flop flop FLOP. My MATCH date was a royal FLOP. It wasn’t a bad date, but definitely a blah date.

First off, my friend Kate was right, at least in this case, I knew within the first 2 seconds whether there was potential. There was none. It wasn’t that he wasn’t cute- he was in a super- skinny- kinda- quirky- guy way, and he definitely was the same guy from his picture. However, I am pretty sure his picture was taken at least 10 years ago!! WTH? In addition, his shirt looked like it came from about 20 years ago. Button down teal. Bright, 80’s Miami Vice-ish teal… So we were not off to a good start. I was feeling a bit deceived.

The conversation went okay, but there was a lot of pompous selling, to be expected from a salesman on a first date I guess. But I wasn’t buying what he was offering, in the least bit. Then to top it off, after I had politely refused placing another drink order with the waitress, he took the liberty of ordering me a drink while I was in the restroom… Uh, thanks but I’m a BIG girl, I know my limits, and am more than capable of ordering drinks when I want one. Shady!!

Thankfully the date ended shortly after I refused the unauthorized drink :). The next day was the kicker though. After rehashing the event with my coworkers, it turned out that one of them knew him. And apparently I was right to feel deceived. She is pretty certain he is a good 3-4 years older than his profile states. Not that I care about age, but I do care about lying.

Next please.

JACK BE LIMBO, JACK BE QUICK!

I have a date tonight. It’s a MATCH date, so I admit my expectations are pretty low. Really low. Given all of the bad dates I’ve been on lately, dating feels almost like a chore, isn’t that sad? But can you blame me? There was the bowling strike-out (described below), the Stutter-er-er, the Energizer Bunny, the Lazy Eye, the Cheapskate, the Aggressive Grabber, and then the guy who took me to a very trendy, posh restaurant where he knew the whole staff. The service was great. Food, excellent. But I felt like I was on display more than the eccentric pairings of the renowned chef. A-W-K-W-A-R-D…..

But now I am all confused. Low expectations? It’s hard to get excited when the expectations are low. I prefer to have HIGH expectations of people, situations, etc. I keep my standards high-( some may say too high and it’s why I am still single- thank you mother) I’d rather like to keep them there though. But given my current circumstances, I’ve entered the world of lower expectations. Now what? Does that also mean lowering the bar? Is that what it’s gonna take? Ok then. So where exactly is that bar supposed to be placed? In fact, what the heck am I using this bar for? Is this the high jump, or the limbo? Somebody help!